Black Gold Wives: The "REAL" Housewives of the Oilfield
"Backbones and Babes"
When my dear friend Jennifer first asked me to write about my life as an Oilfield Wife for her magazine, I was more than just a bit thrilled. Finally, an opportunity to shed some light on the women behind the men in the Oilfield! There are so many misconceptions about Oilfield wives and my hope is that I can share some light on some of that. Contrary to popular belief, most of us do not sit at home eating bon bons and waiting for our men to come home from their next hitch. We do not use our men as human ATMS always putting our “babe like” appearances and ourselves first. There are many of us who actually work with our husbands in our Oilfield businesses and some of us have real jobs outside the home.
Shows like “The Real Housewives” who cater to opulent lifestyles are not what most REAL Oilfield wives are experiencing. I admit, I am luckier than some as we have a pretty blessed life NOW, but it wasn’t always like this.
When my kids were young, I was going in 20 different directions raising them alone 90% of the time while my husband worked countless hours out in the field. It was my responsibility to take care of my own job, as well as 6 horses, 20 acres and countless kid activities. I did it all and I never complained. It was (and still IS) after all what I signed up for when I married an “Oilfield” man. As women, we are born with the God given ability to multi-task. That is why we take care of everything and then, when our Oilfield men get home, we take care of him too. That is not to say my adoring husband doesn’t take care of me, because he does, but that’s a whole different article!
Most Oilfield wives today are still raising kids, and playing the role of both moms AND DADS whether they get to stay home or have jobs that they go to everyday. They are still filling in where Dad left off when he went back on to his next hitch. They are still running kids to school and sports events, and taking care of everything from homes and finances, to yards, and car troubles. As our kids continue to grow, dads will still keep missing out because this is just the nature of the business. It is 24/7, 365 days a year. Our husbands are still getting to expe-rience watching all the “firsts” in their kid’s lives from a distance. Things like driver’s permits, first dates and even going to their first prom while dad is out at the rig. The pay off for the hard work that goes into raising families sometimes gets to be experienced by the men in our lives solely through pictures and videos. Thank goodness for technology!
I saw a t-shirt a long time ago that read, “behind every successful cowboy, is a wife who works in town”. It implied that the cowboy way of life is a tough, tough industry and that money is not the reason most cowboys do it. They do it because they love it, but they need some steady income! The same applies to our Oilfield marriages. If your husband is anything like mine, he LOVES what he does. To quote him directly, “the oilfield gets in your blood and if you spend two years in it, you will never get out, you can’t, the money is just too good!” Our husbands depend on us ladies, not necessarily for added money, but for everything else that needs to be dealt with and they trust us to get it done.
I have seen a lot of changes in the Oilfield since I first married into it back in 1985, but the one thing that doesn’t change is the backbone of it all. We, the proud wives, are the backbone for our Oilfield men. We are the strong women who do it all. WE, my dear readers, are the babes our men love to come home to, because after all, that is what THEY signed up for!
Til the Next Hitch...